How to Write a Hit Song

by Katie Ng ‘25 Many people aspire to write songs and become a pop star, but they don’t realize that songwriting is not easy and never was. You may want to learn how to write songs but may not know where to start. Here are some tips to consider. First, use curse words. Profanity will make the song more relatable. … Read More

Sherwood Implements Brand New Ten-Step Plan To Take Back the School

by Declan Rooney ‘25 With a new school year comes new rules for students to follow. Last year, the zoo we call Sherwood High School was rampant with off task behavior such as smoking, skipping class, and in-class phone usage. That is why the school needs a shepherd to put these animals in place, and I think I’m just the … Read More

Sherwood Expands Parking Spots for Students

by Jordan Costolo ’25 Attention Juniors and Seniors: It has come to the attention of Sherwood administration and staff that the student parking is not the best. The parking lot is disorganized, rampant with students taking other’s assigned spots, filled with bad parking jobs, and littered with spots that are in direct sunlight or on uneven ground. So to respond … Read More

Mock Trial Ready To Do It for Real This Time Around

by Mauricio Altamirano ‘24 By popular demand, the Mock Trial Club (MTC) has returned to Sherwood. In the courtroom where people’s lives are at stake, emotions run high and people may say things they later regret. Imagine what might happen if a couple of utterly inexperienced lawyers are thrown into the mix. The club’s return can be credited to its … Read More

Boredom Defeats Students

by Jordan Costolo ’25 As the school year comes to an end, students have run out of things to do to pass the time during class. Teachers have run out of material (and busy work) to give, leaving most students high and dry in the way of entertaining themselves. With oneweek of school still remaining, this has students scrambling to … Read More

Push To Ban TikTok Rapidly Grows as Fear Spreads of Imminent Chinese Mind Control

by Declan Rooney ‘25 Over the past decade, a fear-mongering frenzy has swept the nation, turning grandparents into schizophrenic maniacs who post on Facebook about how the Deep State is turning their son into a liberal through messaging propaganda on Amazon Alexa. Online privacy is something that all Americans should be concerned about as big corporations look to profit from … Read More

Amending the First Amendment

by Justin Lakso ’25 Google defines Cancel Culture as, “Those who have acted in an unacceptable manner are ostracized, boycotted or shunned.” The modern definition of “unacceptable” however has become, “not concurring with today’s social media hivemind.” This new norm has become hazardous for online communities and content creators as not conforming to the societal norms of a mentally egalitarian … Read More

Tragic: Tucker Carlson’s Face Stuck Like That

Fox News has been embroiled in controversy as the removal of Tucker Carlson from our roster has become widely speculated upon in recent days. Many believe the firing is connected to the recent settlement in the Dominion Voting Systems v. Fox News Network court case. We at Fox confirm that this is patently false, and setting the record straight has … Read More

No Working Bathrooms

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Nicholas Schade ’23

The REAL Résumé of George Santos

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Justin Lasko ‘24 Embellishment is common on résumés, especially for us underqualified teenagers. How else would we get jobs at Taco Bell other than pretending we enjoy the … Read More