Unsolved Mysteries of Sherwood’s Lockers

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues.

by Jordan Costolo ‘25

It’s not that we ran out of ideas for the show. We’ve covered numerous mysteries, such as mysterious monsters, kooky kidnappings, and spiritual shenanigans. But today we tackle the biggest–and perhaps the most terrifying–mystery of all: why is no one using lockers in Sherwood? Welcome back to Unsolved Mysteries.

Founded in 1906, Sherwood High School in Olney, Maryland seems like an ordinary school for local teens to pursue their education. Yet something sinister lies beneath the surface of this harmless center of learning; a terrifying epidemic of unused, abandoned lockers. Though Sherwood is a thriving center of learning, each day banks of lockers stand cobwebbed, students seemingly allergic to the idea of even touching them. Today, we will try to find out why.

We start off by asking some of the local teachers about the lockers. Computer science teacher Swikrit Manandhar insists that “carrying around backpacks is good exercise.” Is physical fitness really that important, or is a more sinister reason lurking beneath? “No one really ever uses lockers. Even when they were required to use, a majority of students never even touched them,” added an ancient, anonymous teacher.

It seems it’s not just been a recent problem but a long term issue. To find out why no one uses lockers, we will go back to Sherwood’s roots. The school was built on a piece of land donated by Sherwood Farm in 1883. Jim and Margert Wood discovered that their humble farm was constructed on an ancient burial ground, only to shortly thereafter mysteriously disappear.

Interesting and unfortunate. However, this history may or may not have something to do with the fact that spirits of great evil now appear to inhabit the Sherwood lockers even if there is no actual evidence for that being the case. Yet this locker mystery could haunt Sherwood for the rest of its days. Maybe it was something as simple as they are not needed anymore because of chromebooks. Maybe it’s ghosts. Or maybe, just maybe, this case of the unused lockers will remain unsolved. Yes, that seems most likely.