Bathroom Door Creates Privacy Utopia for Sherwood Boys

by Ben Schoenberg ’24 Sherwood has implemented measures over the past few weeks to provide Sherwood boys with privacy and refuge for disadvantaged groups in the school such as vapers. A majority of the bathrooms at the school do not have doors at the entrance, causing insecure bathroom users to feel exposed. However, the school has piloted a new door … Read More

Polar Bears Are On Thin Ice

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Liam Trump ‘24 Let’s look at their stats: 1,300 lbs., nearing the 10 ft. mark when standing on their hind legs. Their sheer strength allows them … Read More

Not Exactly News: Zuckerberg To Create Robot Workers

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ’23 In a press conference last weekend, Mark Zuckerberg, the clearly human Facebook CEO, announced his grand plan to replace all of his staff … Read More

Seatbelts Represent Communism

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ’24 The requirement and enforcement of seatbelts in cars is the greatest form of oppression in America since McDonald’s stopped selling supersized meals. Mandatory … Read More

Disney: The Force Awokens

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Liam Trump ’24 It is no secret that Disney is the best company making movies today, but are they really doing enough when it comes to … Read More

Not Exactly News: Homecoming Horrors

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ‘23 Attendees of the Sherwood homecoming dance on October 23 were shocked and surprised when, at the climax of the evening, in a truly … Read More

NFL Executive Resigns Due to Scandal-Free Career

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Solaiman Hassanin ‘23 Apologetic, Luke Atmyass cleaned out his office for the last time. After nearly four decades, he will no longer be serving as an … Read More

👻Ghost Outbreak in Sherwood Sparks Outrage👻

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Liam Trump ‘24, Andrew Papalia ‘24, Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Multiple sightings of eerie white smoke have been reported in the recently closed off C hall boys’ … Read More