No Working Bathrooms

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Nicholas Schade ’23

The REAL Résumé of George Santos

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Justin Lasko ‘24 Embellishment is common on résumés, especially for us underqualified teenagers. How else would we get jobs at Taco Bell other than pretending we enjoy the … Read More

President Comic

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Nicholas Schade ’23  

Zombie Survival Guide

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by John Castle ‘25 Drawing the attention of people worldwide, including mine, there has been a recent emergence of a “Zombie Virus.” This pathogen was found present in Siberian … Read More

Abnormal Advice: Ben There Done That

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Dear Benjamin, Every year I start a New Year’s resolution to eat healthier and go to the gym but I fail every time! Oreos and … Read More

(not) exactly news:

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ‘23 Admin Who Makes 150K+ a Year Sympathetic to Teachers’ Plight As frustrated teachers rally around the clock to beg the school system for pay raises … Read More

SCHOOL IS HARD

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Nick Schade ’23

Decree of Twitter Ownership

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Thy dearest majesty, I might not but writeth to thee in the midst of extreme prosecution and turmoil.  As thou art well acknown, mine own … Read More

Abnormal Advice: Resurrections

  HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Dear Benjamin, Help! I’m in quite a pickle. I like this person, but they go to Blake. My friends and I all go to … Read More

(not) exactly news: November 2022

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ‘23 Junior Noticeably Frustrated That Their Mental Health Is Improving An anonymous Sherwood junior has recently been incredulous and irritated at the fact that taking walks, … Read More