Candy Tax Devastates Youth

by Nathan Lampshire ‘19 Montgomery County created yet another tax that will surely test residents’ integrity this Halloween. The tax allows the government to collect 23 cents for each individual piece of candy on the Monday after Halloween. The tax was created to combat obesity and to generate more revenue for government-funded projects. However, the government is concerned that youth … Read More

Humor Section Becomes A Disaster after All of the Funny People Graduate

 by Jared Schwartz ‘18  The Warrior is in a dire situation with the imminent graduation of the Class of 2018, as all of the funny people will soon be gone. It is unclear how the Humor section will survive once anyone with any sense of humor whatsoever has left. The bleak future for the Humor section is not good for … Read More

Senior Implements Spring Cleaning Routine

by Natalie Murray ‘18  Over spring break, Sherwood students had a variety of plans: some went on vacation, some did college tours, some stayed home and studied, and some – namely, senior Makayla Smithe – did some spring cleaning.  Unlike traditional spring cleaning, in which a person sorts through clothes, shoes, knickknacks, and other possessions, throwing away or donating anything … Read More

Montgomery County Looks to Avoid Disaster

by Noah Corman ‘19  With summer fast approaching, students look forward to weeks of carefree fun and make little effort to remember what they learned in school. But are they forgetting anything important?  The Montgomery County Board of Education says yes. Due to how easy it is to avoid anything with educational value, students are at a higher risk to … Read More

It’s Obvious: The Sun Is Cold

Do you believe in the various conspiracies on Buzzfeed Unsolved, think Bush did 9/11, or swear that the Earth is flat? Well, you’ll love this “hot” new conspiracy theory. by Owen Steffan ‘18  Recently, all I have been hearing about is how the Earth is flat. That is ludicrous. There is legitimate proof that the Earth is round and that … Read More

Mystery Shrouds Sudden Disappearance of Seniors

by Noah Corman ‘19  You may have noticed that there are noticeably fewer and fewer seniors in the hallways than usual. If so, you are not alone. Many staff members have spoken up about this mysterious occurrence, demanding answers from the SGA.   “I just don’t know what happened to them. One moment they’re here, and the next moment, they’re gone,” … Read More

Students Become Glued to Phones, Literally

by Noah Corman ’19 Many adults and parents, especially those of older generations, have said that kids and teenagers spend too much time on their phones. They have even joked that kids are glued to their phones, but that joke is now a reality. Teachers reportedly exhausted themselves trying to tell students to get off their devices, so they slackened … Read More

Everybody Hates Mitch: 10 Things with a Higher Approval Rating than Mitch McConnell

by Josh Averbach ’18 There are certain things that Americans all seem to like: apple pie, baseball, fireworks, and… hating Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. With an anemic approval rating of about 12 percent, the notoriously uncharismatic Kentucky Republican is more bogeyman than man of the people. In fact, McConnell is so unpopular that these ten things all have a … Read More