SCHOOL IS HARD

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Nick Schade ’23

Decree of Twitter Ownership

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Thy dearest majesty, I might not but writeth to thee in the midst of extreme prosecution and turmoil.  As thou art well acknown, mine own … Read More

Abnormal Advice: Resurrections

  HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Dear Benjamin, Help! I’m in quite a pickle. I like this person, but they go to Blake. My friends and I all go to … Read More

(not) exactly news: November 2022

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ‘23 Junior Noticeably Frustrated That Their Mental Health Is Improving An anonymous Sherwood junior has recently been incredulous and irritated at the fact that taking walks, … Read More

School Offers New Wilderness Therapy Trip

by Cliff Vacin ‘25 After complaints from Sherwood students and the SGA about the lack of general field trips, the school administration intervened to create a new “adventure abroad” field trip that is planned to take place in early December. The week-long Wilderness Therapy camp in Summersville, West Virginia is open to students in all levels, and all it requires … Read More

Students Unionize Against Work

by Jordan Costolo ‘25 A small but very vocal minority of students have banded together to fight back against the teachers of Sherwood. Inspired by the recent efforts of workers to unionize at massive corporations such as Apple, Amazon, and Starbucks, junior Jackson Shun created the Fellowship of Students in Solidarity (FSS). The FSS is demanding that students receive no … Read More

Star Mascot for Ravens Out for Season

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Aviv Klayman ‘24 The first home game for the Ravens on September 18 against the Miami Dolphins ended disastrously after the Dolphins scored 29 points in the 4th … Read More

Unsolved Mysteries of Sherwood’s Lockers

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Jordan Costolo ‘25 It’s not that we ran out of ideas for the show. We’ve covered numerous mysteries, such as mysterious monsters, kooky kidnappings, and spiritual shenanigans. But … Read More

(not) exactly news: June 2022

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This section is intended as satire and uses the tools of exaggeration, irony, or ridicule in the context of politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ‘23 Forever 21 Is Actually Closing For Real This Time–No Guys I’m Serious Tens of thousands of teens across the nation were left shell-shocked and stunned … Read More