Gen Z Slang Guide for Teachers and Old Heads

by Josh Pulaski ‘25 Does it sometimes feel like students are speaking a different language? Is it possible that they actually do have their own language? Are you just an old head boomer no cap? If you’re one of the unfortunate souls who still doesn’t know what “rizz” means, then I’m here to help. Keeping up with slang isn’t an … Read More

Why The World Will End Next Year

by Declan Rooney ‘25 In the last decade we have narrowly escaped the apocalypse so many times, such as global threats of nuclear war, the entire year of 2020, and that time Taylor Swift wore a mismatched outfit to one of her concerts. But I’m here to be the bearer of bad news: the world is going to end in … Read More

The Kids Aren’t Alright

by Jordan Costolo ‘25 These three-plus years at Sherwood have been painful for us Seniors. While the three graduating Classes before us got lucky and had at least a year break from this wretched place due to Covid, the Class of 2025 will be the first class in years who will get the full Sherwood experience. They say that the … Read More

Sherwood High School Institutes an Unorthodox Interior Design Program

by Fiona Lipczenko ‘25 In order to keep up with development programs at local high schools, such as the complete replacement of Northwood’s facility and major capital projects at Damascus and Poolesville, Sherwood is instituting an innovative interior design plan. Staff, students, and parents alike are stunned by the nonconformist design choices manifesting in the building. To really open up … Read More

Sherwood Institutes Unconventional Interior Design Program

by Fiona Lipczenko ‘25 In order to keep up with development programs at local high schools, such as the complete replacement of Northwood’s facility and major capital projects at Damascus and Poolesville, Sherwood is instituting an innovative interior design plan. Staff, students, and parents alike are stunned by the nonconformist design choices manifesting in the building. To really open up … Read More

My Solution to the Debt Crisis

by Declan Rooney ’25 At some point you may have Googled how much the United States is in debt and been swamped by a tsunami of depressing stories about how the U.S government is 34.4 trillion dollars in debt which is going to cause a global economic collapse. Fear not concerned citizens, for I have cooked up three delicious ways … Read More

Democrats Rig Super Bowl for Taylor Swift

by Declan Rooney ‘25 The Kansas City Chiefs won this year’s Super Bowl, beating the favorited San Francisco 49ers 25-22. The victory was the third consecutive upset win for the Chiefs in the playoffs, after taking down favorites such as the #2-seeded Buffalo Bills and #1-seeded Baltimore Ravens. They did all of this despite an underwhelming season, going just 12-6 … Read More

Man from 18th Century To Run for President

by Jordan Costolo ‘25 In the course of a human’s life, usually nearing its end, it becomes necessary for him, or her (but most likely him), to gain as much power over others as possible to ensure a legacy that lasts for all time. Although much has changed since my youth in the late 1700s, I, Sir Cornelius Jefferson, shall … Read More

Sophomore Helps Others (To Help Self)

by Thien Dinh ‘26 When sophomore Joel Green was young, like many other kids, he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. However, that all changed when he was on his way to middle school and noticed a man with dirty shoes and disheveled hair. Green was compelled to assist him with whatever he could, giving him … Read More

Stanley Ruined My Life

by Declan Rooney ‘25 When I waltzed my way into Target on a fine afternoon last month I expected nothing but a quick run to pick up a quality bottle from a very popular brand called Stanley. Stanley has been praised for its high quality bottle the “Quencher,” which I wished to procure for my various hydration needs. But as … Read More