Epidemic Threatens to Overwhelm School

by Holly Cuozzo ‘12 Also known as “Spring Fever,” “Laziness,” and “H1-N2,” Senioritis is an epidemic that is quickly infecting students of all ages.  In MCPS, Sherwood is the most infected school with a whopping 97.6 percent of students suffering from this highly contagious disease.  “Every day, I see more and more students in here simply sick as dogs.  We … Read More

Misuse of Word “Awkward” Drives One Staffer to Rant

by Michael Natelli ‘14 Has this ever happened to you? “Hey Bob, I like your shirt!” “Yikes … That’s awkward.” Well, thanks to the all new Anti-Awkward Machine version 1.0, all of those problems can magically go away! (If only life was that simple…) Each and every day, I suffer through hearing what is perhaps the most annoying word in … Read More

Notes To Nancy: On Love

Dear Nancy,

My English teacher hates me! I try so hard to pay attention and be quiet in class, but she always yells at me. Plus, she gives me awful grades on all my essays.

-Enemy of English

Cupid Banned in Effort to Reduce Valentine’s Day-Related Violence

Love was certainly in the air this week as love-struck students throughout the halls exchanged roses, chocolates in the shape of dainty hearts and vows of affection. Ah yes—the usual elaborate celebratory customs of Valentine’s Day were in full swing. However, there was one slight difference in the way couples displayed their unwavering love for one another this year: a complete absence of the pudgy symbol of love himself, Cupid.

Impossible Quest for the Perfect Pair of Uggs

I stood outside Robert Wayne Footwear with bated breath, reflecting that this was it. This was the moment when all of my hard work and frugality would finally pay off, in the form of a pair of lusciously comfortable (albeit expensive) boots.

Sherwood’s Own Chamber of Secrets

Some of you may know of the padlocked door in the downstairs art hallway and have wondered what is behind it. What does it hide? Maybe it’s just a wall of dirt, or maybe it’s something more. These questions constantly swam through my mind ever since I first saw that door during my freshman year. Three years later, I finally decided to find out. I knew I needed to study up on conspiracy theories. If I’ve learned anything at Sherwood, it is that nothing is as it seems (See my previous article “Third Floor Pool Party”)

Notes To Nancy: Cold Fingers Slow Texting

Dear Nancy,

It’s so cold in the mornings, so I put on a coat or sweatshirt every day. What am I supposed to do with it when I get to school?

-Cold and Concerned

Our Journeys With Jeff

Now we know everyone knows what the Sherwood fuzz does. They clamp down on all the shenanigans that run rampant throughout the school and make sure everything is safe and sound. But what do the security guards do when there are no major drug pinches or gun battles? Two of our intrepid journalists here at The Warrior decided to spend a day with security guard Jeff to get an understanding.

Black Friday: An Event Not Fit for the Weak

I woke up at the crack of dawn—but even that was too late. Sure, 6 a.m. was early, but shoppers had been on the move for hours already. Needless to say, I had to make up for lost time. After carbo-loading on a power breakfast of Thanksgiving leftovers, I embarked on my journey to Montgomery Mall on Black Friday, America’s holiday for shopping.