Comics from December 1 Issue
Waldo Tries to Find Himself by Michael Wagner ‘12 Thanksgiving by Andi Hopkins ’14 The All-Nighter by Michael Wagner ’12
‘Man vs. Wild’ Host Bear Grylls Talks Survival
by Michael Wagner ‘12 “Man vs. Wild” Host Bear Grylls emerges from behind a tree after he downed a pint of his own urine to ward off dehydration. Dropping temperatures and an early setting sun: these are sure tell signs that we are heading into winter. This year, however, may prove to be harsher than ever. In order to have … Read More
Abolish Women’s Suffrage?
poll and analysis by Robel Wondimu ‘13 Results: 33 males and 32 females responded yes: Total of 65 students responded yes 27 males and 15 females responded no: Total of 42 students responded no The Warrior conducted a poll asking students “Do you believe women’s suffrage should be abolished?” Two-thirds of the student body polled responded that it should. This … Read More
Opening New Harris Teeter Attracts Dangerous Business
by Paul Szewczyk ‘12 On April 27, Harris Teeter opened its doors in Olney, now occupying the former site of the infamous Olney 9 Cinemas. Harris Teeter now shares its shopping center with ice cream parlor Baskin Robbins, Subway and the family friendly restaurant Greene Turtle, among other restaurants. Customers are attracted to this new market, and are willing to … Read More
An Average Summer Day for an Average Teenage Superstar
by Andrew Wasik ‘13, A special to The Warrior BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. I wake up at exactly 12:01 in the afternoon. I look to my left and I see an old yogurt container filled with ketchup. To my right is a wild Snorlax snoring and munching on my foot. I realize I don’t know where I am and I’m scared. … Read More
Epidemic Threatens to Overwhelm School
by Holly Cuozzo ‘12 Also known as “Spring Fever,” “Laziness,” and “H1-N2,” Senioritis is an epidemic that is quickly infecting students of all ages. In MCPS, Sherwood is the most infected school with a whopping 97.6 percent of students suffering from this highly contagious disease. “Every day, I see more and more students in here simply sick as dogs. We … Read More
Misuse of Word “Awkward” Drives One Staffer to Rant
by Michael Natelli ‘14 Has this ever happened to you? “Hey Bob, I like your shirt!” “Yikes … That’s awkward.” Well, thanks to the all new Anti-Awkward Machine version 1.0, all of those problems can magically go away! (If only life was that simple…) Each and every day, I suffer through hearing what is perhaps the most annoying word in … Read More
Notes To Nancy: On Love
Dear Nancy,
My English teacher hates me! I try so hard to pay attention and be quiet in class, but she always yells at me. Plus, she gives me awful grades on all my essays.
-Enemy of English
Cupid Banned in Effort to Reduce Valentine’s Day-Related Violence
Love was certainly in the air this week as love-struck students throughout the halls exchanged roses, chocolates in the shape of dainty hearts and vows of affection. Ah yes—the usual elaborate celebratory customs of Valentine’s Day were in full swing. However, there was one slight difference in the way couples displayed their unwavering love for one another this year: a complete absence of the pudgy symbol of love himself, Cupid.
Impossible Quest for the Perfect Pair of Uggs
I stood outside Robert Wayne Footwear with bated breath, reflecting that this was it. This was the moment when all of my hard work and frugality would finally pay off, in the form of a pair of lusciously comfortable (albeit expensive) boots.