HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. Lauren Hesse ‘19 In a groundbreaking new study, two Harvard scientists have concluded that getting a vaccine, of any type, causes serious neurological side effects if the … Read More
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Russell Irons ‘19 Ever since its release in 2015, the Juul has enraptured today’s youth much to the ire of their elders. Its main draws are … Read More
This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Jonah Sachs ‘20 Some Sherwood students were stunned to find that one of their favorite social studies teachers, Joshua Kinnetz, was older than they had previously speculated. When Kinnetz offhandedly … Read More
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. Malec Fahmy ‘20 In recent years, parents have attempted to adopt new slang to become “hip” like their children. After a survey taken by The Warrior of … Read More
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. Noah Corman ‘19 As the clock struck midnight on December 31, junior Quentin Roberts vowed to bring an end to his procrastinating ways. Sadly, he never got … Read More
by Drew Scott ‘20 After nearly three months of holidays, the time has come for that dead zone of the year when, quite frankly, life sucks. It seems to be a postpartum depression of sorts, as everyone is dealing with the severance of the symbolic umbilical cord of joy that is the holiday season. However, a recent social movement has … Read More
Russian interference in the 2018 Christmas has brought forth theories of Santa’s political leanings by Russell Irons ‘19 It’s getting to be that time of year, a joyous season of giving gifts and practicing many other holiday traditions. Alas, all is not well. Santa Claus is an agent of the Kremlin and a threat to the American people. Every winter … Read More
by Drew Scott ‘20 With Halloween right around the corner, an inevitable problem arises. Gross treats. Kids know which ones– candy corn, licorice, fruit, pretzels, just to name a few. Nobody eats them, so the treats eventually end up in the trash. Seeing an opportunity to think globally and act locally, the Sherwood Eco Club has come up with a … Read More
by Noah Corman ‘19 With Halloween fast approaching, the administration recently amended the Sherwood constitution. They added a provision that aims to make this Halloween the most productive one ever. It calls for formal costumes only, including and limited to a lawyer, doctor, or other job with a six-figure salary. Students are expected to take part in activities that will … Read More
by Russell Irons ‘19 “Good morning, Sherwood family! This is not a drill. This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the first annual ‘Purge’ sanctioned by the Sherwood administration. Commencing the bell, all infractions, including open lunch, will be legal during fifth period. Security and emergency medical services will be unavailable until sixth period at 11:59 a.m., … Read More