Humor: Students Finally Get Organized and Relax, Thanks to KonMari Method of Visualization

HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues.

Drew Scott ‘20

With the end of the year approaching, many students are rushing to get their final grades up to acceptable, punishment-clearing levels. However, there may be a reason that students have to rush to improve their grades: poor organization skills. It has been proven that a lack of organization skills lead to frustration, stress, and ultimately failure.
To combat this, the administration has released organization guidelines based on the advice of Marie Kondo, star behind the show “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix. She is renowned for KonMari, which is an method of organizing that requires you to gather together all your belongings and only keeping those that spark joy, and choosing a place for everything to go. Some students have taken this to an extreme, though, and have begun to throw out their work.
“This is really therapeutic,” said sophomore Amir Safar. “Whenever I’m stressed, I just chuck my schoolwork in the trash!” Another approach is to tidy up all at once. It’s worked wonders for organization for the bulky binders at Sherwood. But on the flipside, this same approach has inspired a sub-culture of overproductivity within Sherwood, along with a sharp rise in the popularity of energy drinks.
“I … haven’t slept in a while,” admitted junior Katsumi Oda. “Not only have I missed a lot of sleep trying to get everything done at once, but the crash from mixing Red Bull, coffee, and sugar is making this a lot worse for me.” Oda then slumped over on her desk, presumably catching up with her sleep schedule.
An aspect of KonMari that a lot of students here are enjoying is visualizing one’s dream lifestyle. Many students use this to motivate themselves to do well in school so that they may one day achieve their dream lives. But yet again, students have taken this to yet another extreme. Students who aspire to be e-girls, SoundCloud rappers, and other flash-in-the-pan money making schemes, use this method to disregard school work school work in favor of practicing their bars or photography skills.
“I think it’s tough,” said senior Will Jordan, a self-proclaimed SoundCloud rapper. “The whole idea of picturing your dream is really interesting and will keep me motivated to do more music about violence, drugs, and alcohol.”