by Natalie Murray ‘18 Senior Chad Fitzgerald has everything he wants in life—a good group of friends, a cute girlfriend, a really nice car, a varsity letter from being the captain of the lacrosse team—but he does not have a college acceptance letter. After 18 years of having a perfect life where everything goes his way, Fitzgerald is struggling to … Read More
by Josh Averbach ‘18 After a recent snowstorm, MCPS employee Rob Sanderson accidentally texted Jake Richards, a controversial right-wing commentator who he had been friends with decades ago, a message detailing his hatred of snowflakes. To Sanderson’s surprise, Richards replied enthusiastically. “Bro, tell me about it. I just had to cancel an event last week at West Texas College because … Read More
by Joshy Averbach ‘18 and Isabella Pilot ‘18 After 2016’s incident involving an injured security guard and a mob of rowdy students, Sherwood thought it had seen the last of “bathroom parties,” which teacher Paul Brown referred to as a “scourge on our otherwise pure school sent straight from the depths of hell.” However, in an attempt to celebrate their … Read More
By Noah Corman The administration is under scrutiny for its prioritizing of important school issues. Of late, the school has focused its attention on misplaced and stolen hall passes while other school matters—such as academics—have taken a back seat. “My AP World class has a long-term substitute, and we’re worried we won’t be learning enough to be prepared for the … Read More
by Jared Schwartz ‘18 An international crisis has recently developed over escalating tensions between the towns of Olney and Brookeville. Many Brookevillians are calling for autonomy from Olney’s tyranny. It remains unclear how Olney in any way has control over Brookeville, as Olney is an unincorporated town with no formal government. Still, Brookeville’s three town commissioners have voted to unilaterally … Read More
by Noah Corman ‘19 Increasing numbers of Americans’ political leanings have shifted towards communism. Drawn in by a link titled, “What economic system are you?” test-takers nearly crashed BuzzFeed’s servers with their eagerness and political curiosity. The single-question test asked people whether they enjoy free stuff. After confirming everyone’s love for complimentary items, BuzzFeed’s complicated algorithm identified the vast majority … Read More
by Lucy Kuchma ‘18 It’s been almost a year since Vine was officially shut down, but the true Vine-lovers out there have not failed to keep its legacy alive. When Vine first announced it would be ending, it was stated that the company would keep the website around so that, although new Vines wouldn’t be created, people could continue to … Read More
by Josh Averbach ‘18 and Lexi Matthews ‘18 Olney has welcomed a score of new businesses to bolster the booming metropolis. One developer called the new Olney “an oasis in the desert that is Northeastern Montgomery County.” While many are excited to see their doors open, some worry that the Washington suburb may be losing touch with its roots. “I’m … Read More
by Frank Platko ’18 For all Trump’s threats of “Fire and Fury,” signs are emerging that an unexpected bromance is forming between Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump, who Kim once called a “dotard.” “Behind the scenes, Trump sings a much different tune on North Korea,” said an anonymous White House source. “He very much admires some of Kim Jong-un’s qualities … Read More
by Jared Schwartz ’18 In order to maintain its position as an elite school district, MCPS is adapting to today’s electronic age. Inspired by groundbreaking novels such as “Emoji Pride and Prejudice: Epic Tales in Tiny Texts”; and “YOLO Juliet,” MCPS will be offering electronic literature or e-lit beginning next school year. “I hope the class is as lit as … Read More