Crossword Answers
March 2023: Spring Cleaning January 2023: New Year, New Me! November 2022: Fall Into a New School Year! Archived Crossword Answers (Jan-May ’22)
Bathroom Door Creates Privacy Utopia for Sherwood Boys
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ’24 Sherwood has implemented measures over the past few weeks to provide Sherwood boys with privacy and refuge for disadvantaged groups in the school … Read More
Polar Bears Are On Thin Ice
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Liam Trump ‘24 Let’s look at their stats: 1,300 lbs., nearing the 10 ft. mark when standing on their hind legs. Their sheer strength allows them … Read More
Not Exactly News: Zuckerberg To Create Robot Workers
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ’23 In a press conference last weekend, Mark Zuckerberg, the clearly human Facebook CEO, announced his grand plan to replace all of his staff … Read More
Seatbelts Represent Communism
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ben Schoenberg ’24 The requirement and enforcement of seatbelts in cars is the greatest form of oppression in America since McDonald’s stopped selling supersized meals. Mandatory … Read More
Not Exactly News: Homecoming Horrors
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Ella Scher ‘23 Attendees of the Sherwood homecoming dance on October 23 were shocked and surprised when, at the climax of the evening, in a truly … Read More
NFL Executive Resigns Due to Scandal-Free Career
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Solaiman Hassanin ‘23 Apologetic, Luke Atmyass cleaned out his office for the last time. After nearly four decades, he will no longer be serving as an … Read More
👻Ghost Outbreak in Sherwood Sparks Outrage👻
HUMOR DISCLAIMER: This article is intended as satire and uses the tools of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule in the context of contemporary politics, current trends, recent school events, and other topical issues. by Liam Trump ‘24, Andrew Papalia ‘24, Ben Schoenberg ‘24 Multiple sightings of eerie white smoke have been reported in the recently closed off C hall boys’ … Read More