Impossible Quest for the Perfect Pair of Uggs


by Andi Hubbell ‘11



I stood outside Robert Wayne Footwear with bated breath, reflecting that this was it. This was the moment when all of my hard work and frugality would finally pay off, in the form of a pair of lusciously comfortable (albeit expensive) boots.

For the past few weeks, I had been dutifully covering extra shifts at work, grudgingly putting aside my allowance money and tearfully avoiding any situations in which I might be tempted to use my debit card, all in hopes of saving up for a pair of Uggs. Although I had previously been known to scoff at the shoes for their bulky appearance and lack of functionality, I had recently had a revelation after trying on my boyfriend’s sister’s pair. Pleasantly shocked by their sheer comfortableness, I immediately knew I had to get my own.

Thus, the day after Christmas, I found myself in Arundel Mills Mall, armed with $150 and a steadfast determination to procure a pair of Uggs. For the first half hour after my arrival, I had scoured the mall for a store that carried Uggs with little luck. However, with the help of a sales associate from the NIKE Factory Store, I finally located Robert Wayne. Convinced that its stuffy-sounding name indicated a high volume of Uggs, I proceeded into the pricey shoe store, unknowingly launching myself into a frenzy of immeasurable chaos.

Upon entering the shop, I was immediately overwhelmed by the astounding variety of Uggs before me. The shelves were lined with Ugg boots of all sizes, colors and styles. I was dumbstruck! Should I try on the gray boots, or the oatmeal-colored ones? I wondered. The tall ones, the medium-sized ones or the ultra-short ones? Should I select a classic pair, or a pair with buttons or kimono designs or a knit exterior? I didn’t know where to begin. And my predicament wasn’t helped, of course, by the fact that the store also retained a wide selection of Bear Paw boots, forcing me to contemplate whether I should just abandon my search for Uggs altogether and settle for a pair of the less-expensive Ugg look-alikes.

Disoriented, I stumbled around until I could locate a bench. After sitting down for a few moments, I peered around the room, attempting to narrow down my choices from a more tolerable distance. Following several painstaking minutes, I ultimately decided on a medium-sized, dark brown pair. Immensely pleased with myself, I flagged down an employee.

“What can I do for you?” he asked enthusiastically as he approached my bench.

“I’d like to try on the medium, dark-brown pair of Ugg boots in a size six please,” I cheerfully responded. The previously confident employee shot me a quizzical glance.

“Uh … dark brown?” he asked dubiously.

“Yes, please!” I confirmed. He strolled over to the nearby display counter and proceeded to pick up the very pair I had been eyeing. I beamed in response. He raised an eyebrow.

“Um, the color is actually chocolate,” he snickered. “And the size is classic short.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, blushing furiously. Apparently, I was not very well-versed in proper Uggs terminology. The salesman laughed again, to my utter bewilderment.

“And, uh, this is also a kids’ size. I don’t think we have them in stock in women’s sizes at the moment,” he explained, grinning. Frustrated, I glanced again at the surrounding selections.

“How about the camel-colored ones?” I posed, pointing at an adjacent pair.

“You mean chestnut? Size six? Sure,” he agreed, continuing to simper as he entered the storage room.

To my excitement, the “classic short chestnut” in size six fit perfectly! Thus, after texting a quick snapshot of the boots to my mom, I happily purchased them. I was still in a stellar mood later that evening when I met up with a group of friends—that is, until I found out just what my friends thought of my hard earned purchase.

“Ewww! What are you wearing?”