by Nick Hammond ‘25 and Mark Joseph ‘25 Sherwood community as the equivalent of the Purge began. Friendships were destroyed, and families eroded from inside out as the formerly friendly Olney wrestled with the burden of hosting Sherwood’s giant water fight: Senior Assassin. One may question the motives for such violence. Why would these students, nearing graduation and soon entering … Read More
by Declan Rooney ‘25 Internet memes are probably the greatest invention of the 21st century, bringing joy into our lives whenever needed as the world around us spirals into chaos. But recent studies show people from around the world are mentally picturing one of those agents of chaos, Vice President JD Vance, as chubbier than he actually is, due to … Read More
by Josh Pulaski ‘25 For more than 200,000 years, humans have had three constants for survival: food, water, and their rizz game. Being able to attract the huzz has always been a difficult endeavor. How do I stand out from the betas? Does my hair look good enough? Are my wooden shoes long and pointy enough? Well, worry no longer … Read More
by Declan Rooney ’25 As Donald Trump was sworn into office on January 20, top Democratic officials met at a luxurious resort in Cancun, Mexico to discuss their plans to blow the 2028 election. After the meeting’s conclusion, top figureheads from the party such as 2024 Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris emerged to give a speech about hope or whatever. “Don’t … Read More
by Zach Geller ‘25 The foreign exchange student program is a new plan by Sherwood this school year, bringing in kids from Europe to study here in the States and experience American life. The success of this program has led MCPS to announcing its new and exciting Foreign Exchange STAFF Program. This may be a bittersweet moment for Sherwood students, … Read More
With the Democrats’ crushing defeat on November 5, questions of candidate fielding and campaign strategy have been raised among party insiders. Losing the House, the Senate, and the presidency via both electoral college and popular vote has proven to be a real moment of shock for the Democratic establishment, and many long-held assumptions about the nature of American politics are … Read More
by Declan Rooney ‘25 As a red-blooded, glue-eating, American Patriot, it is imperative that I stay dangerously uniformed and yet still vote for the candidate I determine to be more “chill” solely based on what I see on TikTok and the fragments of Fox News I catch when my dad falls asleep on the couch. This year I happened to … Read More
by Josh Pulaski ‘25 Does it sometimes feel like students are speaking a different language? Is it possible that they actually do have their own language? Are you just an old head boomer no cap? If you’re one of the unfortunate souls who still doesn’t know what “rizz” means, then I’m here to help. Keeping up with slang isn’t an … Read More
by Declan Rooney ‘25 In the last decade we have narrowly escaped the apocalypse so many times, such as global threats of nuclear war, the entire year of 2020, and that time Taylor Swift wore a mismatched outfit to one of her concerts. But I’m here to be the bearer of bad news: the world is going to end in … Read More
by Jordan Costolo ‘25 These three-plus years at Sherwood have been painful for us Seniors. While the three graduating Classes before us got lucky and had at least a year break from this wretched place due to Covid, the Class of 2025 will be the first class in years who will get the full Sherwood experience. They say that the … Read More