The Warrior Online

by Danny Cutler ’13 OLNEY, MD—After using the new iPhone dating application Tinder, 17-year-old Missy Callow believes that she has finally found her true love. About one week ago, Missy was matched up with her new boyfriend, Peter Sham, who is a tall, tan, 21-year-old model for Polo Ralph Lauren. Unlike any other dating application, Tinder uses current location and … Read More

by William Keilsohn ’13 To: County Service Unit # 877241 From: Department Service Unit # 003235 Subject: Quarterly Progress Report # 03 Transmission: As of February 14, 2013 it can be reported that this department of the Ministry of Learning has made considerable gains in achieving the countywide goal of eliminating the looming threat of originality and the heresy of … Read More