by Alex Porter ’13 Wednesday that the United States would continue its leadership in protecting human rights by watching the Syrian Civil War unfold and seeing what happens in a few years. The advanced democracy, famous for fighting two world wars, regularly invading countries around the globe, aiding democratic nations and arming foreign fighters in the name of freedom, will … Read More
by Cal Wilson ’14 Marketing has always been a lucrative business: get a poor, helpless sap to purchase your useless product. A lot of thought goes into every aspect of every advertisement. Since 2010, there has been a rapid increase in companies promoting violence and acrimony, and the Parent Organization for Protecting Kids (POP-Kids) has launched a campaign against the … Read More
Robert Van Winkle, also known as Vanilla Ice, is a multi-talented man who became a star rapper in the 90s and has desperately done all he can to not leave Hollywood since. A young man who grew up as an athlete, winning all types of awards for motocross racing, morphed into one of the most popular white rappers of all … Read More
cartoon by Diana McDermott ’13
by Hunter Moore ’15 Robert Van Winkle, also known as Vanilla Ice, is a multi-talented man who became a star rapper in the 90s and has desperately done all he can to not leave Hollywood since. A young man who grew up as an athlete, winning all types of awards for motocross racing, morphed into one of the most popular … Read More
Q: What do Madonna, Dick Cheney, Whitney Houston, Prince Charles, Ted Kennedy, Jay-Z, Al Gore and Bill Clinton have in common? A: Yes that’s right; they’re members of the Illuminati! by Diana McDermott ’13 I am scared just writing this article. One of them might read it and come for me. What I am about to tell you is a … Read More
by Andrew Wasik ’13 On the night of March 13, all across America, math teachers will fall asleep tucked into their beds after a long day of teaching and grading an endless stream of papers. But this night, unlike any other, they will have trouble falling asleep. March 14 is Pi day, 3.14. A day that math teachers, and only … Read More
by Michael Crooks ’14 Juniors Tommy Carswell and Jack Sadler wake up at 6:07 every morning. The next-door neighbors each hop in their red Ford Explorers and follow each other closely as they drive to eat their daily breakfast at Panera. Both get “the usual” (a toasted everything bagel with cream cheese), and sit down at a two-seat table in … Read More
by Danny Cutler ’13 OLNEY, MD—After using the new iPhone dating application Tinder, 17-year-old Missy Callow believes that she has finally found her true love. About one week ago, Missy was matched up with her new boyfriend, Peter Sham, who is a tall, tan, 21-year-old model for Polo Ralph Lauren. Unlike any other dating application, Tinder uses current location and … Read More
by William Keilsohn ’13 To: County Service Unit # 877241 From: Department Service Unit # 003235 Subject: Quarterly Progress Report # 03 Transmission: As of February 14, 2013 it can be reported that this department of the Ministry of Learning has made considerable gains in achieving the countywide goal of eliminating the looming threat of originality and the heresy of … Read More