Satire: A Thank-You Note

Witty humor to expose people’s stupidity and vices, submitted by AP Lit students. by Steven Palmer ’13 AP Lit Student  Recently, the Montgomery County Public School system has agreed to form a committee to study the possibility of moving high school start times to no earlier than 8:15am. This move comes after Superintendent Starr was given a petition of over … Read More

YOLO: Walking the Wrong Way

by Jenni Kenel ‘14 Students in this school need to learn that walking in a hallway is like driving on the road- there are rules to follow or crashes occur. No, walking on the wrong side of the hall does not give you “swag” or make you seem “cool.” Honestly, if you are one of the people that are walking … Read More

Christmas Demands of a Diva

by Joy Zhang ’14 The holidays should be a time of appreciation and generosity, but girls our age seem to take advantage of this festive occasion to make outrageous demands. I admit I’m one of those brats … 10) Lots and lots of nail polish 9) Ugg boots 8) Tiffany’s jewelry 7) Northface jacket 6) iPhone 5 5) Phone cases … Read More

Annoying Airwaves

by Brendan Cudd ‘14 Don’t you just hate it when you’re walking in the halls and somebody is blaring their music without headphones? Because the first thing I want to hear when I walk in the door is music bouncing off the walls. I can’t stand it when students who “forgot” to bring their listening devices decide to blast music … Read More

‘Warning Obstacles’ *BOOM*

by Cal Wilson ‘14 Sometimes, I feel like a spaceship in the halls, dodging students like they’re asteroids. I barely have enough room as is, but as soon as I turn my head for three seconds to high-five my friend, the student in front of me stops and I get a face full of backpack. Unless someone is losing gallons … Read More

MCPS Approves ‘Bring Your Pet to School Day’

by Connor Martin ‘13 It’s always fun to take a break from the monotony of the daily school routine, and that often comes in the form of a day off from school or a specially-themed day. Now, MCPS administrators have decided to add a new in-school holiday. This month, MCPS is implementing a pilot program throughout the county that will … Read More

Obama To Cause Epic Doomsday

by Alex Porter ‘13 After a disappointing first term, Americans who anticipated an Armageddon to accompany President Obama’s time in office are ready to give him another shot. Without the looming specter of reelection, the paranoid who await the end of days hope that the president will bring the doomsday they were promised. America’s first black, Muslim, non-citizen, lizard antichrist … Read More

Fun Holiday Carol

Rudolph Got Run Over By My Grandma Just as he arrived on Christmas Day She had gotten sick and tired of hearing that song where she gets trampled by a sleigh. She’d been listening to the radio and she nearly lost her breath yellin’ cuss words at the DJ for playin’ that song where she gets hooved to death. So … Read More

Just a Friend

by Robel Wondimu ’13 I never understood why people say high school is going to be the best experience of your life or the most fun you’ll ever have. Maybe, if you plan on being homeless when you’re older. Oh wait, most of the people who think high school is the most fun they’ll ever have will be homeless when … Read More

Campaign Ads Taken Too Far

by Melissa Fajardo ’13   It seems like a new presidential campaign commercial is airing every other day. Yet, all the commercials are the same; they each have a still photo of a candidate with a voice dubbed over that makes everything sound 10 times worse than it is. The negative commentary distorts the photos too,  and puts the candidates … Read More