by Declan Rooney ‘25

As a freshman coming into Sherwood I was self conscious of everything I did. I was scared to talk to kids I didn’t know. I was scared to go out and do things because of how I thought people might perceive me. I’m sure we all can relate to the struggle to “fit in” coming into high school. The need to try and blend in. Be less cringe. More quiet. To camouflage yourself among the masses.

In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was the founder and king of Ephyra. He reveals Zeus’s abduction of Aegina to the river god Asopus, thereby incurring Zeus’s wrath. His punishment is pushing a boulder up an infinite mountain forever.

Despite these attempts to not be seen as cringe or awkward I still look back and think to myself “Dear God what was I doing?” It is inevitable that one day you’ll look back on your present self and think that same thought, and it’s bound to happen over and over for the rest of your life – like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the mountain for the rest of time.

Looking back on it now, I almost wish I was more cringe and more insufferable, as long as it meant I wasn’t scared of doing new things. My inner desire to conform with the masses seems so silly to me now, especially because it prevented me from doing so many fun things I wanted to do.

Be more yourself. The struggle to conform is pointless, so do away with it. By trying to conform you deprive yourself of those fun and not so fun learning experiences. It’s like if Sisyphus threw away his boulder. What would he do for eternity then? We’re all destined to be pushing that “cringe past self” boulder up the mountain forever anyways, so make your boulder as awful and cringe and as packed with lessons and experience as possible. You want to look back upon yourself and have that icky feeling because it means how much you’ve grown. A heavier boulder means your legs are stronger. Your past self is a testament to how high up on the mountain you’ve gotten, and that is something to be immensely proud of.

Albert Camus, the French novelist and absurdist philosopher, sums it up well. He said, “The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”