by Emily Siansky ‘22

I would classify myself as a control freak. I think this all started as being the oldest of three girls and being a little bit of a brat when I was little (sorry Mom and Dad); if something does not go exactly the way planned for it to go, I freak out. My stress and anxiety skyrockets, even if it is as simple as leaving the house three minutes late to go to school. I thrive off  routines. I use three planners to keep organized because I need to stay on top of everything I do. Everything has to be near perfect. 

With the cancelation of normal school, my “perfect” world got flipped upside down. 

My daily routine has been all out of order. Staying motivated is really hard at times. Without the structure I used to have, I do not know what to do with myself. Do I start studying for my AP exam? Probably. Do I have the motivation to do so? No.

Planning out my days to a T keeps structure. I know exactly what and when I have to get stuff done. With no school work for the first two weeks off, I had so much free time I did not know what to do with myself. I was not going to plan out specific times when I was going to eat or take naps (but I very well could have). 

The past couple of weeks have made me realize that I cannot stand when things are out of my control. I know this may make me seem bratty or spoiled, but my brain cannot comprehend things changing at such a rapid speed. Everything happened so fast; we did not have an adjustment period. Whereas I am glad to get some rest time, I did not want my world crumbling from the inside out.