by Noah Corman ‘19

 You may have noticed that there are noticeably fewer and fewer seniors in the hallways than usual. If so, you are not alone. Many staff members have spoken up about this mysterious occurrence, demanding answers from the SGA. 

 “I just don’t know what happened to them. One moment they’re here, and the next moment, they’re gone,” said one science teacher. “The SGA better tell us what’s going on.”

 Records show that senior attendance has been down 82 percent in the last two weeks, so where did all the seniors go? Many theories are circulating, but they all have one thing in common: an SGA cover-up.

 “They’re always sneaking around and planning pep rallies and spirit weeks behind my back. I trust them about as far as I can throw them,” muttered Principal Gregory. “If something weird is going on, I would bet my left sock they’re behind it.”

 The SGA cooperated with the investigation, saying that they did not know the whereabouts of the missing seniors.

 “Bologna,” said another school administrator. “I know they know, and they know we know, and I know that they know that we know. It’s only a matter of time before they crack under the pressure and spill the beans.”

 The lack of facts in this case is spurring people to draw their own conclusions. “A group of seniors went to the bathroom, and came back thirty minutes later with scented fog surrounding them,” said one teacher, noticeably frightened. “I think aliens may be involved.”

 Such disturbing testimonies demonstrate the seriousness of this situation. With so many people looking for answers, the SGA again changed their story.

 “They probably all went on vacation,” said the SGA president.

 This answer left many skeptics dissatisfied. First, the SGA states it has no clue what has happened to the seniors, but then they claim everyone went on vacation.

 “This is just like the student government to flip-flop,” said junior Julia Pearson.

 No one knows for sure what happened to all the seniors, but rest assured, an SGA cover-up will not stop the investigation from continuing.