by Jonathan Chang ‘17

The upcoming presidential election currently has some of the most unpopular candidates in history. Due to this, there has been an uptick in support for third-party candidates such as Libertarian Gary Johnson. Young people still disillusioned by the Mainstream candidates are even looking beyond these candidates to the hope that flaming meteor will destroy us all. Senior Charles Ray Williams, who will be voting for the first time this November, has decided to support Vermin Supreme.

Supreme, famous for wearing a boot on his head, is currently running for president on a platform which includes giving free ponies to all Americans, investing in time travel research, and mandating tooth-brushing laws.

“He’s got the right idea. Do you know how many Americans die from poor dental hygiene? I don’t actually know the statistics, but it’s probably a lot of people, like a lot. And, if we master time travel, we can destroy [The Islamic State] before it’s created. That’s a genius idea,” Williams said.

Supreme does not have a full fledged platform. Despite Supreme’s lack of foreign and fiscal policy, he has enjoyed increased support in the recent election. In the New Hampshire primary, he received 256 votes, finishing fourth in the Democratic primary.

“It’s truly outstanding that Supreme is getting the votes he needs. At this rate, he’ll be the president in no time! It’ll truly be a great day for America,” Williams said.

It should be noted that first place candidate, Bernie Sanders, received 151,584 votes, which is a difference of 151,328 people between him and Supreme.

This, however, does not deter Williams. “A lot of people like him, okay. Just ask my friend Jack Carlton. I got him aboard the Supreme hype train!” Carlton is also a senior voting in the upcoming presidential election who has decided to support Supreme.

“Do I understand politics? Nope. Do I really care about politics? That’s also a nope. But, I trust my friend Charles and this Supreme dude seems cool, so I’ll vote for him,” Carlton said.

“I’ll be honest, before Charles started talking about him, I had no idea who this dude was,” Carlton continued. “But, he kept telling me how good he was, so I figured he’d be a good candidate. I’m just gonna follow Charles and leave all the complicated thinking stuff to him.”

Supreme is still involved in the race, being spotted recently outside Hofstra University during the first presidential debate. He was involved in his own debate there, facing off against street performer Matthew Silver. The results of that debate are still being analyzed.