By Sean Kang

Before I start this senior column, I should probably make it clear that I don’t ever consider myself to be egotistical, overconfident, conceited or narcissistic. With that being said, if you asked me where I’ll be in 10 years, I’ll say at the Oscars, or the Grammys, or both (yeah, probably both). But in 10 years, when you see me on your TV screen, will you remember me?

Let’s face it. For the Class of 2014, this may very well be the last year we ever see or talk to each other. You can keep thinking that you’re going to always keep in touch with your two BFFs after graduation, but after a month, a year, two years, they’ll be nothing more than people whose Facebooks you go to every so often and comment on one of their pictures, “omg bby u look so pretty. we need to hang out sometime” (or something along those lines). In 10 years, you probably won’t remember any of us.

But who really cares if they’ll be remembered or not, right? I do. Because, like I said, I’m going to be at the Oscars. No, not as one of those annoying photographers, but as the breakout star who had seven nominations that year for his starring role in the romantic thriller, “Chief Keef – The 3Hunna Story.” So when you see me up there, I don’t want you to think, “Man, I wish I knew that guy.” Instead, I want you to go, “Isn’t that Sean Kang from my Stat class?” or “Hey, I once sneezed on that guy in Spanish!” (I should clarify that the sneeze wasn’t in Spanish, like “Estornuda!“, but this act of horror was committed in a Spanish class).

If you’re a dreamer like me but you lack the charismatic qualities that I possess, there’s no need to worry. There’s still hope for you. It may be hard to believe, but I wasn’t always this charming (well actually, I was, but I’m trying to make you feel better here). I was once pretty quiet and reserved, too, until I came to a simple conclusion: no one remembers a nobody. If you want to be remembered, do something.

You think I was able to defeat Alec Perez to become the Warrior’s 2013-2014 Man of the Year by doing nothing? No. You think I became popular overnight by just sitting around? Kinda. You think I have great fashion sense? Why, thank you. I do, don’t I? But back to the point, you just have to do as the lyrical genius Tyga told us to do and “Ball like a Nerf.”

In 10 years, I probably won’t remember any of you. I’m not saying that because I want it to happen, but because it’s the truth. However, I sincerely do hope there will be a couple of you I do remember. In fact, I want to see at least one of you there at the Oscars too. Not as the guy I throw my Lamborghini keys at, but as the guy I ask during the commercial break how much of a shot they think I have with Emma Watson, who’s sitting two seats in front of us.

So who knows if you’ll remember me in 10 years? The only way to find out is to wait it out. But until then, you should probably blow up my phone now because pretty soon, you’ll have to call my publicist instead. Deuces.