By Cal Wilson ‘14

Everyone knows that St. Patrick’s Day is a leprechaun’s favorite time of year. It’s their time to run around, throw four leaf-clover seeds and pinch people who are not wearing green. Playful and fun as they are, they refuse to let anyone get close to them. Don’t let that deter you from trying; there still are a few ways to catch a leprechaun.
Leprechauns will not just let you walk right up and talk to them. The best way to get them is to lure them into a well-planned leprechaun trap, but first, one must learn the pleasures and hatreds of leprechauns.
Start with a common-known fact: leprechauns love green. Leprechauns cannot fight their urge to look at anything colored green. However, one fact many are unaware of is that leprechauns hate orange. They despise the fruit, color, and juice-with or without pulp. In fact, leprechaun’s hate orange so much that in their society oranges are outlawed as the fruit of the devil. When planning a leprechaun trap, color it green and make sure there is no orange around.
The organization Finding Leprechauns for Orphaned People (FLOP) discovered last Tuesday in ground-breaking research that Leprechauns love Irish rock and roll. Specifically, they love Dropkick Murphys. Something about the dirty, gritty vocals and fast paced fiddles reminds them of their home country. Leaving out a large pint of ale with Dropkick Murphys’ heavy accordion bass music in the background will surely attract all the local leprechauns.
It is said that female leprechauns do not exist, but they are just the most elusive of all. Because they are left alone at home while their male companions go out and cause mischief, lonely leprechaun girls are often left feeling unsatisfied. Buying a box of Lucky Charms and cutting Lucky the Leprechaun out for use as a lure is very effective because leprechaunettes find the Lucky Charms Leprechaun to be very attractive (just make sure to throw out the Lucky Charms cereal because leprechauns find it too commercialized and insulting).
Another way to attract the green gremlins is to lure them into a trap which they despise. Leprechauns have a true rivalry against the Easter Bunny (something to do with him crushing a four-leaf clover with one of his Easter eggs back in the 60s). Leaving a brightly colored egg or two out for the local leprechaun to smash is a great way to catch him in a rage. To further antagonize him, leaving a few marshmallow Peeps around the Easter eggs is a sure bait.
But lastly, if you do not want to go through all this trouble of studying leprechauns, you can always just do the old “follow the rainbow to a leprechaun’s pot of gold.” This is easier than making the leprechaun come to you, but once you get to the pot of gold it is pretty rare to catch the leprechaun. They tend to enjoy hiding and surprising the lonely adventurer before running off with the gold. Those that successfully capture leprechauns usually experience a short period of luck before the leprechaun manages to escape, usually leaving the captor with a series of bite marks in sensitive places.