Two Warrior staffers debate how technology affects relationships.

Technological Communication Makes For More Distance

by Diana McDermott ‘13

As technology penetrates more and more interpersonal communication, the way people communicate and the relationships people have are changing. Technologically savvy people are under the delusion that because we are receiving messages from someone more frequently via text or email than in person that we are closer to them. This does not substitute for a meaningful face-to-face conversation.

With the increase of technological communication, the meaning of messages becomes more muddled. If researchers are correct that 60 percent of all communication is non-verbal, more than half of the meaning is lost in text, email and chat sites.

The very nature of technology inhibits communication. Technology isn’t meant to express feelings; it is short and instant. Face-to-face communication enables more meaning and has for thousands of years in human history.

Mary Joyce, author of the book “Digital Activism Decoded: The New Mechanics of Change,” claims that technology helps facilitate long-distance relationships but not with those who are close to us. “The internet’s effect on relationships is paradoxical,” said Joyce. “It strengthens our relationships with distant friends and relations through social networks and email, but may damage the relationships of those nearer to us as always-on technologies and applications eat into family and social time.”

Technology also changes the clarity of the messages people are trying to convey. When something is fast and instant, it often isn’t being checked thoroughly enough. The lazy approach of technology has led to a decrease in the amount of effort put into the reading and writing. Nicholas Carr, 2011 Pulitzer Prize nominee and New York Times Bestselling author, writes about issues of technology and the brain in his article “Is Google making us stupid?” Carr noted in the article, “what the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a jet ski.”   The ability to form messages with deep meaning and the concentration to organize clear thoughts is eroding in our writing. Thanks to technology, non-verbal communication is absent and the written part of communication is also less complex.

It may be more beneficial to draw lines in the sand about what is appropriate via a text/email and what isn’t. For matters of importance it is worth the effort to say it in person. This will lessen convenience but will increase social benefits. A large percentage of the meaning of your words is being interpreted more accurately. Face-to-face communication leads to better understanding and clearer interpretation. The non-verbal aspect of communication is important and should not be replaced like the obsolete technologies of the past.

Technology Makes For Comfortable Communication

by Haley Whitt ’15

Over the years, interpersonal technology has advanced immensely with instant messages, texting and social networks, including Twitter and Facebook. All of these methods of non-verbal communication help to connect people and cultures around the world as the messages may be sent across borders and over oceans. In the United States alone, two thirds of teenagers reportedly use instant message services regularly.

Non-verbal communication offers many benefits due to its efficiency and convenience. The messages that are sent are instantly delivered to the recipient, making for a rapid connection between the sender and the recipient. It is more convenient than a call because it is less disruptive. For example, a student can’t call her mom during class to tell her important information, but she can send her mom a quick text without interrupting the class.

Non-verbal communication has also made communication easier by helping people avoid long, unpleasant phone calls and by making a quick “Hello” much simpler. According to the Pew Research Center, 72 percent of teenagers text regularly, and one in three sends more than 100 texts per day.

Unlike verbal communication, non-verbal communication gives those involved control over response time. They can respond quickly to a message or take the time to formulate an ideal response, the latter of which is not allowed in everyday conversation. This situation is especially preferable to individuals who tend to be more introverted.

Researchers at the Pew Research Center affirm that texting and other non-verbal modes of communication have benefited many people with shy, introverted personalities. “The delay afforded by texting means that the teen has more control over the pace and tone of the interaction,” said one of the researchers.

Extroverts benefit from non-verbal technology as well, because it allows them to maintain relationships and friendships. They are able to stay in contact, and express their ideas and emotions, with whoever they wish when they aren’t able to be face-to-face with each other.

Non-verbal communication offers a sense of emotional release, and can actually improve peoples’ moods. Israeli researchers studied instant messages exchanged by 231 American teenagers, aged 14 to 18, who were “regular IMers.” Upon analyzing the conversations, the researchers discovered that those participants who were in a negative emotional state, such as sadness or anger, experienced, on average, a 20-percent reduction of their distress after instant messaging.