by Will Van Gelder ’16

The funniest thing about this parody film was the fact that I laughed more years ago at the actual films this movie was imitating.  “Scary Movie 5,” is a bomb and is the worst in the Scary movie franchise. The first two movies in this series were funny, but after that they slowly went downhill.  My reaction to these films went from disappointment in “Scary Movie 3,” to irritation in “Scary Movie 4,” and finally to boredom and anger in “Scary Movie 5.”

During the latest installment of this franchise, I found myself staring at the screen in disbelief almost constantly. From the opening scene with Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan not even playing themselves well, to a more disturbing than funny scene in an abandoned cabin in the woods, this whole movie just went from bad to worse.  While watching most comedy movies I am quick to laugh, but when watching this one I found that the only time I laughed was during a scene in which a maid hits a piñata in her sleep.  Even this was more ridiculous and stupid than funny.

The acting in this film was so bad it was laughable, and the actors seemed not to show any emotion at all.  The movie would have been much better if the star of the original Scary movies, Anna Faris, had returned, but her role was taken up by Ashley Tisdale, a former Disney star, whose acting hasn’t seemed to improve much.  The other main actors were all unknowns, and  “Scary Movie 5” is such a joke I believe that they may have just picked random people off the streets to play some of the characters.

The plot jumps from character to character with no explanation of the unexplainable scenes you have just seen.  The director, Malcolm D. Lee, ran out of ideas so quickly that halfway through this movie there was a drunken party that only vacuums attended in the main family’s back pool.  Why not send only vacuums to this movie so we people don’t have to suffer?  This movie was a waste of my time and money.