As professional writers for The Warrior newspaper, we have done our research. After  completing projects and taking quizzes on various global events during the class, we have concluded that TikTok has better sources for news than the brainwashing channels that only normies watch.

Through hours of hard work of doomscrolling and scavenging the lengths of TikTok, we have learned more about the world than being in the Newspaper elective or by reading … anything. Even our current events, study guides, tests, and charts still don’t compare to the amount of knowledge on TikTok. It is like a bible that anyone can edit, making it super reliable.

National TV news outlets like CNN and NBC only share what they want the viewers to see, which almost always are about so-called big new items like the economy, or wars, or immigration. They will not report on important trends like 6-7 on national television. TikTok allows you to stay young and never turn into your aging and corny parents.

Speaking of parents, they watch the news every night or read printed newspapers but it’s about political junk that no one under the age of 20–or probably even under age 30–cares about. You certainly won’t learn about the new brainrot slang you’ll find while scrolling on TikTok. Oldies think that the new slang isn’t important but forget it’s crucial for understanding modern culture and connecting with the new generations. Their “totally tubular” and “gnarly” is our “ferda” and “bussin.” Without our slang, the uncs are left behind.

Speaking young is not only important for communicating with friends but when you get old and have to work with the newer generations. Being able to communicate with employees is key in the workspace, especially with the social media teams.

Way back when they were kids, adults used a rope and a cup to communicate with their friends. It’s true–you can see videos of it on TikTok. Today kids use social media to communicate with friends. Parents are just salty they didn’t have this high level technology back in their day, which tempts them to hate on the new style of living.

Old-time news reporters and sports analysts are not reliable anymore, which is why we have Dylan Page and Noah Glenn Carter. These are influencers who share current trends and are the new philosophers of our generation. These influencers grab the attention of the new generations to spark deep intellectual discussions in the comment section. Just take a look for yourself.

Nowadays adults complain that it is the phones ruining the lives of children, but to us it’s our way to understand the world. Telling a kid that Trump is trying to take over the world or something like that is boring. Saying “POV: Trump speedruns world takeover” with an explanation with minecraft parkour at the bottom with the soothing AI voice helps keep kids up to date with the world. Same knowledge, just a whole new method to keep the kids interested.

As we continue and become editors in chiefs, interviewing Presidents and high level political figures, we will thank TikTok for the knowledge and wisdom we now possess. If  we were to say one thing to the younger generations, it would be to follow TikTok and not the news. As renowned scientist Albert Einstein once said, “Life is like a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must watch TikTok.”