On Sports: Curling Is America’s New Pastime

by Jared Schwartz ’18

Early Saturday morning, the Team USA won their first ever gold-medal in men’s curling, beating Sweden 10-7. Curling is often seen as the laughing stock of the Winter Olympics, with many people claiming that it is not a “real” sport. However, now that the Americans have won, it is my duty to explain why curling is an awesome sport, so we can brag about our superiority to other countries. After all, Sweden may have universal healthcare, but we beat them at curling.

The first thing to understand about curling is that it is a game of strategy. According to Wikipedia, curling is often referred to as “chess on ice,” as teams have to throw stones in a way that sets up future shots for themselves, while also making it difficult for other teams to score or take out their stones. This is important, as an American gold medal in curling proves for a fact that Americans are really smart.

Still, even though curling has strategic depth, many still argue that curling is not a real sport, as it does not require physical exercise. This is plainly not true, as curling requires extraordinary balance and precision to throw the rock in the right spot with the right amount of force. In addition, sweeping can require a great amount of physical exertion, as the sweepers can help the stone travel further and straighter. In a sport where a centimeter could be the difference in the outcome of a match, sweepers often push themselves to the limit to ensure the stone travels far enough. In short, curling does have enough of a physical element to qualify as a sport and Americans are very fit.

While the Winter Olympics contain many sports that are extremely uninteresting and boring, curling is not one of those. Every throw can be make a giant difference in a match. It only took a tiny mistake from Sweden to allow the United States to score five points to secure their victory. Due to this fact, there is a constant tension present throughout a curling match. This is similar to baseball, which has a sense of weight to every pitch, and baseball is America’s pastime. Curling essentially winter’s version of baseball, except that it’s completely different. Thus, if you hate curling, you hate baseball and apple pie. Through this line of reasoning, curling is proven to be an amazing sport.