Connor Brady, Noah Rosendorf, and Shawn Yaftali – Senior Column

The Battle against Senioritis as Told by Three Seniors

Almost all of us seniors know what Senioritis feels like, but it’s hard to put it into words. It’s one of those indescribable things that plagues students. To show what it feels like, the following is a short story on three seniors’ battle against this global phenomenon.

Connor, Shawn, and Noah were three seniors excitedly awaiting graduation. One day, they went to play soccer after school to pass the time. Everything was normal. However, a powerful force was racing towards them. Unexpectedly, Connor was upper-cutted, Shawn hit in the face, and Noah drop-kicked into a nearby tree trunk. They were all profusely bleeding. This terrifying force was Senioritis. He laughed proudly, exclaiming, “Y’all gonna fight back? Cause either way I’ll put you back down!”

Connor said, “Yeah, we’re going to fight back, and we’re gonna win.” Shawn got a ball and kicked it as hard as he could at Senioritis. Connor then tried to run over and punch him in the face, Senioritis kicked Connor and he flew into the back of the net. This enraged Noah, who told Senioritis, “you need to stop this or you’ll be sorry!” Senioritis laughed and said, “I’ve beaten 95 percent of seniors, “I can take all three.” The three guys ran away so they could fight another day.

The three seniors thought they might take Senioritis on with soccer challenges. As it turns out, Senioritis was very good, as they learned from seeing videos on Youtube of Senioritis playing soccer. But the three believed they were good too, so they texted Senioritis to meet them at Good Counsel so that they could take him on.

When they arrived, they saw Senioritis already there shooting soccer balls at the goal. His shots seemed unstoppable. The three were nervous but confident in their abilities. Out of arrogance, Senioritis allowed the three to name the challenge. Shawn, Connor and Noah all wanted to do the crossbar challenge, where the shooter tries to hit the top bar of the goal.

They each got two shots and Senioritis got six to make it even. Sadly, Senioritis made allsix, whereas Shawn, Connor and Noah only made two. The next challenge was a juggling competition, where a person tries to kick the ball in the air as many times as they can without it touching the ground. Senioritis got three tries and the three each got one. Connor got 11, Noah got 16, and Shawn only 2. Senioritis had an easy victory; everybody stopped counting at one thousand, even Senioritis.

Senioritis won the battle as Noah, Shawn and Connor couldn’t overcome Senioritis. As a consequence, it made them write this article and put it into The Warrior.