By Ashley Nnabue ’16

Relationships. Many yearn for the feeling of commitment with a significant other. Why? For many, it is due to the longing of affection and companionship. However, there is a growing lack of trust among this generation that pushes individuals to avoid official relationships. Instead, people tend to “talk” with a potential boyfriend or girlfriend for an extended period of time. This talking phase, with its “no strings attached” nature, has become more common in recent years.

“Talking” still comes with the rollercoaster of emotions associated with being in a real relationship. It becomes even more confusing when teenagers attempt to explain their relationship with a person to others because they want to be cautious not to overstep any boundaries that may or may not exist. Yet, there is a lack of clarification regarding what the boundaries of the talking stage consist of. Are they allowed to get jealous if the person is harmlessly flirting with someone else? If they post a picture on social media with the person, what should the caption be? Is the person capable of “cheating” on them if it is not a real relationship? The answers to these questions are rarely clear and the ambiguity of the relationship makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the people to express the extent of their true feelings.

The “talking” stage is like a game to learn everything possible about the person without falling too hard or getting too serious. Spending time getting to know one another before making an official bond is crucial, but now this phase is being extended for months. This defeats the purpose of dating because if one develops feelings for someone, then why wait to make it official?

Whether in a relationship or “talking,” it will lead all to something serious or nothing at all. If they are practicing the actions of a real couple, then the steps should be made to advance into a relationship. This way, he or she will not have to worry about whether or not it is okay for them to question why the other person overstepped an obvious boundary.

While “talking,” there are so many thoughts that one may feel uncomfortable addressing because he or she does not want to seem too clingy before anything is concrete. Thinking about a future with someone that technically is not his or hers can create a lot of uncertainty. People use talking to avoid official commitment, yet loyalty is often questioned. If the person should be loyal, then he or she is in a relationship. After about two months, both people should be comfortable enough to transition into the dating stage. Lingering in the talking phase just creates unnecessary havoc and confusion. Some people may be content with the talking stage because they are not fully committed to anyone, but if there is a future in the relationship, then there is no need to dwindle upon a stagnant transitional state.