By Haley Whitt ‘15

Though we tend to believe that we choose our partners for ourselves, it is quite possible that we are pawns of nature’s exquisite plan. With an enticing blend of chemicals released in our brains during a total of three different phases, we fall in love.

The three phases of love are lust, attraction and attachment. Lust, the least emotional of the three, is a phase driven by sex hormones. Testosterone, in men, and estrogen, in women, are the sex hormones that fuel our desires during this phase. Attraction, known as “the cupcake phase,” is the phase when we are considered “love-struck” and cannot think about much else. This is where many of the chemicals, such as adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin, become very involved. These feelings fade, however, as we enter the attachment phase; our bodies actually develop a tolerance to these pleasurable chemicals. Researchers from Loyola University Health System suggest that all of these chemicals flow through the body at this point, resulting in “an overall sense of well-being and security that is conducive to a lasting relationship.”

When we begin to experience feelings of love, our stress response is activated, increasing adrenaline levels in our blood. This is commonly symbolized by sweaty hands, flushed cheeks, a racing heart and butterflies in the stomach, especially when we see and spend time with our partners.

The brains of love-struck couples also contain high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine stimulates desire and reward by initiating an intense blast of pleasure. Remarkably, it has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine. As Helen Fisher of Rutgers University explains, “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship.”

One of the other major chemicals in our brains is serotonin. This chemical is the reason why our partners continue to pop into our thoughts. As an effect, we find it difficult to concentrate on anything other than our partner early on in a relationship.

So, what does this mean for high school relationships? Unfortunately, according to author and podcaster Dr. Nerd Love, “relationships that form quickly—the ‘love at first sight’ kind—burn out quickly as well.” He suggests that “this is why high school is so often a rolling morass of relationships, with couples getting together and breaking up seemingly within weeks, if not days” Teenage relationships rarely make it to the attachment phase, and are based off of falling in love with the surface of the person, not the core, so the appeal is bound to disappear quickly. This is something to consider before you spend too much for Valentine’s Day.