‘Man vs. Wild’ Host Bear Grylls Talks Survival

by Michael Wagner ‘12 “Man vs. Wild” Host Bear Grylls emerges from behind a tree after he downed a pint of his own urine to ward off dehydration. Dropping temperatures and an early setting sun: these are sure tell signs that we are heading into winter. This year, however, may prove to be harsher than ever. In order to have … Read More

Abolish Women’s Suffrage?

poll and analysis by Robel Wondimu ‘13 Results: 33 males and 32 females responded yes: Total of 65    students responded yes 27 males and 15 females responded no: Total of 42     students responded no The Warrior conducted a poll asking students “Do you believe women’s suffrage should be abolished?” Two-thirds of the student body polled responded that it should. This … Read More

Opening New Harris Teeter Attracts Dangerous Business

by Paul Szewczyk ‘12 On April 27, Harris Teeter opened its doors in Olney, now occupying the former site of the infamous Olney 9 Cinemas. Harris Teeter now shares its shopping center with ice cream parlor Baskin Robbins, Subway and the family friendly restaurant Greene Turtle, among other restaurants. Customers are attracted to this new market, and are willing to … Read More

An Average Summer Day for an Average Teenage Superstar

by Andrew Wasik ‘13, A special to The Warrior   BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. I wake up at exactly 12:01 in the afternoon. I look to my left and I see an old yogurt container filled with ketchup. To my right is a wild Snorlax snoring and munching on my foot. I realize I don’t know where I am and I’m scared. … Read More

Epidemic Threatens to Overwhelm School

by Holly Cuozzo ‘12 Also known as “Spring Fever,” “Laziness,” and “H1-N2,” Senioritis is an epidemic that is quickly infecting students of all ages.  In MCPS, Sherwood is the most infected school with a whopping 97.6 percent of students suffering from this highly contagious disease.  “Every day, I see more and more students in here simply sick as dogs.  We … Read More

Misuse of Word “Awkward” Drives One Staffer to Rant

by Michael Natelli ‘14 Has this ever happened to you? “Hey Bob, I like your shirt!” “Yikes … That’s awkward.” Well, thanks to the all new Anti-Awkward Machine version 1.0, all of those problems can magically go away! (If only life was that simple…) Each and every day, I suffer through hearing what is perhaps the most annoying word in … Read More

Notes To Nancy: On Love

Dear Nancy,

My English teacher hates me! I try so hard to pay attention and be quiet in class, but she always yells at me. Plus, she gives me awful grades on all my essays.

-Enemy of English

Cupid Banned in Effort to Reduce Valentine’s Day-Related Violence

Love was certainly in the air this week as love-struck students throughout the halls exchanged roses, chocolates in the shape of dainty hearts and vows of affection. Ah yes—the usual elaborate celebratory customs of Valentine’s Day were in full swing. However, there was one slight difference in the way couples displayed their unwavering love for one another this year: a complete absence of the pudgy symbol of love himself, Cupid.

Impossible Quest for the Perfect Pair of Uggs

I stood outside Robert Wayne Footwear with bated breath, reflecting that this was it. This was the moment when all of my hard work and frugality would finally pay off, in the form of a pair of lusciously comfortable (albeit expensive) boots.

Sherwood’s Own Chamber of Secrets

Some of you may know of the padlocked door in the downstairs art hallway and have wondered what is behind it. What does it hide? Maybe it’s just a wall of dirt, or maybe it’s something more. These questions constantly swam through my mind ever since I first saw that door during my freshman year. Three years later, I finally decided to find out. I knew I needed to study up on conspiracy theories. If I’ve learned anything at Sherwood, it is that nothing is as it seems (See my previous article “Third Floor Pool Party”)