Humor: It’s Obvious-The Sun is Cold

by Owen Steffan ’18

Recently, all I have been hearing about is how the Earth is flat. That is ludicrous. There is legitimate proof that the earth is round and that theory was disproved hundreds of years ago. However, there is one conspiracy theory that isn’t being talked about enough. The sun is cold.

Before you start to dismiss my argument, answer these questions. If the sun is so hot, why is space cold? Also, why is it colder at higher altitudes than it is at sea level? Shouldn’t it get warmer as we get closer to the sun? Well, it doesn’t.

No one has ever been to the sun, so there are no first-hand accounts of it being hot or cold. You might be asking, if the sun is cold, why is it hotter during the day than it is at night? That’s simple, the moon is actually colder than the sun is.

Scientists measure the temperature of the sun by looking at its color. Bill Nye and Neil Degrasse Tyson may call that science, but I call it discrimination. You can’t make assumptions about someone or something solely based on its color, yet that is exactly what scientists are doing with the sun.

All the focus has recently been on climate change, the flat earth, and the lizard people, but no one has been talking about the real conspiracy. The sun is cold and the government is trying to hide it for unknown reasons.